Dating past 40
Most "adults" I knew, like my older brother and cousins, were hitched by 27, so my theory made sense.By the age of 27, you are several years removed from college, likely already installed in a solid job, all those obligatory one-night-stands are out of the way, and you've had enough time to settle down and find "the one." The idea of dating after 40 simply didn't exist.For years I wondered if there was some new way to go about dating; some secret approach that no one had discovered yet.But alas, the older I get, the less I'm inclined to believe in such secrets.One thing I've learned, however, is that the dating "basics" are still the same as when women were "foxy," and men were "fine" (and if you're unfamiliar with those terms, you're definitely not over 40.But stick around, you might learn something anyway.) When it comes to dating, the three principles are: 1) relax, 2) pay attention and 3) be yourself. So, here are some tips for those of you who are just getting out of a marriage and haven't got a clue (or for those of you who are over 40, single and have I've heard so many horror stories from women and men who didn't pay attention and missed those all-important clues that told them it was time to move on.
There's also a alot more at stake in this point in your life, since, let's face it, no one's getting any younger. The fact that you are older, wiser, and more experienced means you will be more judicious when dating and considering potential partners.
Kindness and good conversation are more important than looks or wealth." He also pointed to what you may look for when it comes to online dating profiles.
"You're less impressed with the shirtless man standing next to a sleeping tiger and more interested in visiting a nature preserve for tiger viewing," he said, referencing how social media postings on dating apps are designed to impress, and may be more about artifice than reality, with a younger generation.
Most people want to find a friend or a life partner, and to meet the dates who may fulfill this desire, many 50-somethings, about 80 percent in fact, do it the old-fashioned way — through friends or family. Dating after 40 or 50 means taking control of your love life, just like you do the rest of your life. Baggage bonding is when an early date shifts into deep conversation about some baggage you have in common. You start comparing your horrific ex-spouses or your crazy awful dates. Men know who and what they want, often better than we do. The last thing you want at 55 is to wake up in the morning with flashbacks to your days as a 20-something, right? His manners, his shirt, his smile, the way he talks about his kids. If he walks away from the date having shared too much or hasn’t learned about you, then there won't be a second date.
It means being kind to yourself and the men you meet. I have compiled a list of Dating Do’s and Don’ts exclusively for women like you. These are for the woman who is done repeating the same mistakes, and is ready to find her grown-up love story. It starts off innocently with a question like “So what happened with your marriage? Nothing positive can possibly come from this, sister. Yes, I know he said he was going to call you, I know you had a great date and want to see him again. That’s especially true of the grownup men that you’re dating. Unless you can talk with your dude about safe sex and the status of your relationship after intimacy, steer clear of the sack. Start off with the positive and try to stay in mode before you decide he’s not right for you.